coke for the soul

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

lord i guess i'll never know

i thought i'd try an MM styled post. narrative!!!

he stood there crying. his heart was setting a strange pace, palpitating one moment and the rhythmically calm the very next. such was the stance of a 12 year old child who barely understood life, let alone death.

"what if i hit a car?"
"will the car crash itself?"
"will people be scared?"
"what if there are children around?"

his mind fumbled and picked at these minuscule details that were foiling his resolve. his resolve to jump... no, leap. he looked down once more, focusing on the details of the granite that was to soon receive him. his head was in fuzz, trivial thoughts monopolised it. his heart was in a numb pain, like there was a hand smothering the valves. he breathed deeply and held the morning air in, willing it to pace his heart and mind. he was the master of his body, he could control it as he wished.

raising his arms akimbo to his body, he stepped forward. just one more and it would all be over. he would be able to leave. he was the master of his own body. no one could stop him. no one would care to stop him. he was the keeper of his mind, body and soul; he was the keeper of his life.

as he takes the deciding step, a cold breeze blows, chilling the surface of his cheeks that were wet with tears. fat droplets of rain quickly followed. the boy looked up to see them fall, each at a different pace, all with the same force. he closed his eyes and allowed them to dilute his tears and, inevitably the resolve he had sworn upon. it was a sign from the heavens. it was a sign from God. as he felt a presence that he had never felt before, a warmth that enveloped him in the cold rain. the boy bowed his head down and sighed. he would come back another day. back when He wasn't watching and the deed could be done.

how was it?

i had a dream last night. it was strange. it involved the 2 of my sisters, 2 monopoly boards, russian roulette, econs class test, little britain's fat fighters and me wearing a poofy skirt that doubled up as a parachute. strange... anyone want to tell me what's that all about? well whatever, i thought this video was funny. fat fighters from little britain (i was watching it before i fell asleep. hmm wonder if that had anything to do with the dream.)