salutations
the holidays are sadly coming to an end and many of us haven't had a chance to make full use of them. fear not, there is still a week left and we can still find time for ourselves. i for one haven't gotten far with my revision. only my math notes have seen the light of day thus far. so those of you who are ahead of you revision, don't tell me. and those of you who are lagging, don't tell me either for i will feel compelled to follow suit by taking comfort. moving on, remember how i was complaining about how i can't sleep past ten? well, now i can't seem to wake up until 4. and that's four o' clock in the afternoon. i pass out at dawn and stay that way until the late afternoon. now i have a week left to fix it. hang on a second while i go find some cough syrup...
alright, the constant wonders of the internet have tickled my funny bone. i feel most indebted to it that i must introduce you mirthless "emotive" razor blade carrying pubescent children out there about this comedic show. its called kenny vs. spenny. it has been around for about 4 years now for those of who haven't heard about it. now normally i don't like to stray from little britain or blackadder goes forth but this show suited for anyone with an abominable sense of toilet humour. its a canadian show that i first discovered on comedy central alongside southpark. its about 2 canadian best friends with incredibly opposing characteristics competing on a weekly basis. each week they go head to head at some incredibly lame yet strangely endearing competition. some of the competions are things like "first one to get a boner loses" and "who do gay people like more?". while spenny comes up strategies to win, like employing experts to help him, kenny comes up with strategies to cheat (which in itself is extremely creative and funny). while the show sinks into a predictable routine, it is quite undeniable that its the sort of tireless humour that we love and adore. it helps that kenny often insinuates that spenny is gay and has been in love with him since they were children. this sends spenny, the anal and sensible one, up the wall which is incredibly perversely entertaining. now, personally i like kenny but spenny is a complement to him in every single way. while the show comes nowhere near the slapstick comedy of southpark, it eventually holds its own rendering me helpless with laughter. give it a go.
as if in perfect timing to the gay pride festival, mardi gras, i witnessed 2 gay guys kissing (once again). while in no way did i find it erotic or get turned on as guys do when witnessing lesbians publicly displaying their affections, i couldn't stop staring. it was intriguing, like when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. so you go downstairs to watch some tele only to stumble upon a documentary on the zebras' mating season on animal planet. you just can't seem to look away, can you? come now, don't be shy. its only natural response. its got something to do with the fact that no ones watching you watching them. okay, where was i...so i was trapped in one of those moments where the right thing to do would be to look away but i was too fascinated to even think of a deterrence for my eyes to look at.
to be fair, i probably wasn't the only one staring at them. this was on the bus by the way. i like to sit at the back of the bus so that its more private. what i should have realised is, apparently they do too. now, its not in my nature to go around with my bat smashing faggots brains in (my bat is usually reserved for you chinese people and little helpless babies), but it was one of those moments where i felt like i saw something i shouldn't have. like walking in on you mates snogging or your parents having sex. while the latter has never happened to me (my parents probably never had sex anyway, making my sisters and i jesus), the former has. only this time it was other way around, with girls. its seems, i have had a lot of experiences with the homosexual community. once again nothing against homosexuals, just a harmless observation that there seems to be more and more gays and lesbians out there. biologically speaking, it would be an impossible phenomenon. a quick lesson in biology would teach you that both sexes emit pheromones to attract the opposite sex. so the attraction would only be possible between a ding dongs and a snatch. its also the same in all animals and multi-celled oraganism (learned that on animal planet last night). in order for 2 same sexed people to feel sexual attraction for one another would be unlikely, although its been known to happen. furthermore, for one to declare that one is a homosexual, they would have to overcome the attraction they feel for the opposite sex before embarking on a long gay relationship with someone of the same sex. now, to me that seems like a lot of work... i don't really see why one should battle so hard with thy animal instinct to deny thyself of some cock or otherwise for cheap imitations.
that said, its popularity is on the rise. while i cannot find any fault with the government for this phenomenon (try as i may), i have found culprits in popular culture that have perhaps spurned and instigated the popularity of homosexuality to soar so high and so fast. from langdon hughes the dead poet to ellen degeneres the ever flourishing talk show queen, they have all given up on wooing the opposite sex and have let their queer sides take over. now, normally i wouldn't give a fuck about where your like your cock but when im taking the public transportation, i don't like having a recapitulation of what i saw on animal planet the night before. just because you're gay, doesn't mean i have to give you special treatment. actually for that matter heterosexual couples exchanging saliva make my eyes burn as well (not as bad, but you don't know where to look. you know what i mean?). now now, you should know by now that i dislike and pick on everybody and everything that mars my view. don't make your lives even more miserable by taking to heart what i say, faggots. just remember no more scaring that poor little indian girl in the back of the bus with your incessant PDA, alright? alright...
well...the holidays aren't over yet but i guess i wrote a post anyway. probably won't get another chance until common tests are over. that said, i'll leave you sad deprived minds with 2 of my current favourite quotes that reminded me of my friend who died. okay no one really died, but i wouldn't really have a reason for doing do apart from the fact that im a nerd who quotes novelists and poets. whatever, its my fucking my blog, i can say whatever asinine thing that comes to mind.
the holidays are sadly coming to an end and many of us haven't had a chance to make full use of them. fear not, there is still a week left and we can still find time for ourselves. i for one haven't gotten far with my revision. only my math notes have seen the light of day thus far. so those of you who are ahead of you revision, don't tell me. and those of you who are lagging, don't tell me either for i will feel compelled to follow suit by taking comfort. moving on, remember how i was complaining about how i can't sleep past ten? well, now i can't seem to wake up until 4. and that's four o' clock in the afternoon. i pass out at dawn and stay that way until the late afternoon. now i have a week left to fix it. hang on a second while i go find some cough syrup...
alright, the constant wonders of the internet have tickled my funny bone. i feel most indebted to it that i must introduce you mirthless "emotive" razor blade carrying pubescent children out there about this comedic show. its called kenny vs. spenny. it has been around for about 4 years now for those of who haven't heard about it. now normally i don't like to stray from little britain or blackadder goes forth but this show suited for anyone with an abominable sense of toilet humour. its a canadian show that i first discovered on comedy central alongside southpark. its about 2 canadian best friends with incredibly opposing characteristics competing on a weekly basis. each week they go head to head at some incredibly lame yet strangely endearing competition. some of the competions are things like "first one to get a boner loses" and "who do gay people like more?". while spenny comes up strategies to win, like employing experts to help him, kenny comes up with strategies to cheat (which in itself is extremely creative and funny). while the show sinks into a predictable routine, it is quite undeniable that its the sort of tireless humour that we love and adore. it helps that kenny often insinuates that spenny is gay and has been in love with him since they were children. this sends spenny, the anal and sensible one, up the wall which is incredibly perversely entertaining. now, personally i like kenny but spenny is a complement to him in every single way. while the show comes nowhere near the slapstick comedy of southpark, it eventually holds its own rendering me helpless with laughter. give it a go.
as if in perfect timing to the gay pride festival, mardi gras, i witnessed 2 gay guys kissing (once again). while in no way did i find it erotic or get turned on as guys do when witnessing lesbians publicly displaying their affections, i couldn't stop staring. it was intriguing, like when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. so you go downstairs to watch some tele only to stumble upon a documentary on the zebras' mating season on animal planet. you just can't seem to look away, can you? come now, don't be shy. its only natural response. its got something to do with the fact that no ones watching you watching them. okay, where was i...so i was trapped in one of those moments where the right thing to do would be to look away but i was too fascinated to even think of a deterrence for my eyes to look at.
to be fair, i probably wasn't the only one staring at them. this was on the bus by the way. i like to sit at the back of the bus so that its more private. what i should have realised is, apparently they do too. now, its not in my nature to go around with my bat smashing faggots brains in (my bat is usually reserved for you chinese people and little helpless babies), but it was one of those moments where i felt like i saw something i shouldn't have. like walking in on you mates snogging or your parents having sex. while the latter has never happened to me (my parents probably never had sex anyway, making my sisters and i jesus), the former has. only this time it was other way around, with girls. its seems, i have had a lot of experiences with the homosexual community. once again nothing against homosexuals, just a harmless observation that there seems to be more and more gays and lesbians out there. biologically speaking, it would be an impossible phenomenon. a quick lesson in biology would teach you that both sexes emit pheromones to attract the opposite sex. so the attraction would only be possible between a ding dongs and a snatch. its also the same in all animals and multi-celled oraganism (learned that on animal planet last night). in order for 2 same sexed people to feel sexual attraction for one another would be unlikely, although its been known to happen. furthermore, for one to declare that one is a homosexual, they would have to overcome the attraction they feel for the opposite sex before embarking on a long gay relationship with someone of the same sex. now, to me that seems like a lot of work... i don't really see why one should battle so hard with thy animal instinct to deny thyself of some cock or otherwise for cheap imitations.
that said, its popularity is on the rise. while i cannot find any fault with the government for this phenomenon (try as i may), i have found culprits in popular culture that have perhaps spurned and instigated the popularity of homosexuality to soar so high and so fast. from langdon hughes the dead poet to ellen degeneres the ever flourishing talk show queen, they have all given up on wooing the opposite sex and have let their queer sides take over. now, normally i wouldn't give a fuck about where your like your cock but when im taking the public transportation, i don't like having a recapitulation of what i saw on animal planet the night before. just because you're gay, doesn't mean i have to give you special treatment. actually for that matter heterosexual couples exchanging saliva make my eyes burn as well (not as bad, but you don't know where to look. you know what i mean?). now now, you should know by now that i dislike and pick on everybody and everything that mars my view. don't make your lives even more miserable by taking to heart what i say, faggots. just remember no more scaring that poor little indian girl in the back of the bus with your incessant PDA, alright? alright...
well...the holidays aren't over yet but i guess i wrote a post anyway. probably won't get another chance until common tests are over. that said, i'll leave you sad deprived minds with 2 of my current favourite quotes that reminded me of my friend who died. okay no one really died, but i wouldn't really have a reason for doing do apart from the fact that im a nerd who quotes novelists and poets. whatever, its my fucking my blog, i can say whatever asinine thing that comes to mind.
"There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up" - Oscar Wilde, Irish poet/novelist/etc.
"Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure." - Mansfield Park, Jane Austen, British novelist
"Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure." - Mansfield Park, Jane Austen, British novelist
i'll end my post here. i think the cough syrup's finally kicking in...
