superstar

hello

even though nobody cares, EXAM REVIEW!!! yay.

most of block test is over and it was unexpected. for the first time i feel like i did better in chem than in GP. im quite upset because my favourite topic, religion, came out and i totally flopped on writer's block. plus a lot of people did it so my half-arsed essay will come short in comparison. haaaaiyah... so weird, i talk about religion all the time and win so many verbal arguments but on paper, im at a lost for words. i guess i didn't feel that groove... usually i do, the adrenaline and the excitement of somehow pissing someone off with my smug little arguments just gets to me. im going to rewrite the essay again at home for fun, just to prove to myself that i could have done it... im pretty anal in some ways. sheesh.

chem was surprisingly alright. as long as i don't get a U or S i'll be okay. people don't give tuition enough credit. math was not good. let's see what happens... im aiming for 40 rank points (up from 35). it's all about goal setting...

i don't know if its a arts faculty thing or its just that all my arts faculty friends are like that. they all have insane targets and goals (that they actually come close to!! if they fall short they're so disappointed... its so intimidating).

mathew santos is my current find. jazz on acoustic guitar=unfound talent waiting for mtv to ruin him. love love love him. he's the guy who got ignored after doing "superstar" with lupe fiasco. damn good.



i actually like lupe fiasco (sometimes). i know its rap and we've all got out reservations but this guy's quite different. his lyrics actually makes sense:)

but who cares about him, youtube MATTHEW SANTOS and listen to his voice... raspy jazz heaven... aaaaah... *sits back and melts into chair*

catching the butterfly

hello

missed school on thursday and friday to do some mugging for block test. no secret there... closet free mugging done here... only time will tell if it'll pay off. felt a wee pinch for missing lit and chem tutorial on friday. i actually like them and feel smarter after them, but when mugging calls...

mm and i were discussing about moral compasses and the different parenting styles effects on them after X-country. i told her i have no qualms about breaking silly little school rules while she had her reservations (apparently they're there for a reason... who knew?). i think all our debates are fun and filled with substance because i always see different view points and how others might think. and i feel that's a pretty imporatant factor in the way you live. it either crafts your counter argument and strengthens your logic or it frees your mind... sometimes both.

i think i might start a bible study group after A levels if i have the time and the right people to join. what?? the bible is a very well written piece of art... but gospel truth? i think not. if you beg to differ, then you're welcome to join it. i think i'd like a mixture of agnostics, atheists, staunch but open minded christians and liberal (insert other religion)ists to participate. i realise i could step on some pretty serious territory, but since it technically isn't "bible study", fuck political correctness. say what you think when you think it. hallelujah.

err on that note, just because im thinking about (re-)reading the bible(coz once just isn't enough... ok that was mean. its more because i can't remember the stuff i skimmed through the last time) doesn't mean that i want a bunch of evangelical nutjobs on my arse(that is slowly but surely headed to hell if such a place ever existed). i, for one, think its lame when people immediately think that you're looking for a dose of proselytizing when you want to know more about any religion. my bible study will be different... hopefully. purely philosiphical and analytical. people with critical thinking skills are encouraged to come. if you can think critically AND are christian, do join... i'd like to really meet you. more info when i get my head around the idea better?(gosh im asking as though people are already queuing up. for all i know, it'd just be mm, beta and i in a starbucks rattling each other brains out.) still a project in the making...

four horsemen of 2012

omg omg omg im such a contradiction. i said i won't blog till after bt1 but im using blogging to fill up the time im procrastinating. i have a feeling that i have a lot homework to do before tomorrow but i excused myself from them to study for bt1. as you can see... that's not what's happening. i keep doing things like this. i can't expect myself to be lucky everytime.

on a complete and utterly separate note (ok maybe not), my chem tutor said i was very smart. heh heh heh. i don't blame her for making me spend 3 hours filing anymore.

we have a new time table because of the jc1s and it makes us end later than we already do. can i complain? yes. is my complaining justified? no. because it just means i pontang more days of school.

photog outing just now... saw many babies and children. jessie and shermin's biological clocks are ticking way too prematurely. i for one would not like to have any kids. adopted or otherwise. i didn't mind having a few but now ive changed my mind. simply because...

imagine if my red BMW car broke down and we had to take the train (my kid and i) or any other public transport. a) i can't handle the impracticality of it b) if it cries, i'll probably zip it up in an orange bag and leave it under my seat. someone's bound to think its some sort of novelty bomb and find it. what? im not completely heartless. at least i didn't suggest leaving him at the mustafa centre luggage section (though i have thought aboutt it.)

imagine if it soiled its diaper. and i hear this happens alot. im going to have to change it. with a new one for it soil again. do i really want to live a good part of my life stuck in this cycle?

imagine if i was watching lost (its not going to end anytime soon) and it starts buggling me at the climax when the music gets tense and someone suddenly grows a second head... do i really want to give up sawyer for it? (unless its sawyers but that's another story)

imagine if i stepped on it while it was rolling about on the floor. well that wouldn't be too bad, but i think you go to prison for that kind of stuff.

imagine if 13 years later, it goes through puberty and starts listening to simple plan. i'd be obligated to hit it over the head with a leg of lamb.

imagine it turned out just like me. that's a whole new set of problems i'd have to deal with.

but i do think babies are cute. so very very very very fat and chubby and deceptively lovable. they're not exactly a bundle of joy as many universally seem to agree upon but they are adorable. like if you give them candy they think you're god. and if you tell a lame joke they'll laugh and stuff. but it wears thin and so if i have one, i have to be like responsible and stuff. so here is my master plan. its genius i tell you... all i have to do is find fancy ang moh husbands for my 2 sisters and they can do the heavy lifting. i could just pop over whenever i feel like stepping out of my fabulous life. not to mention they'd still resemble me (not necessarily a bad thing if i do say so myself heh heh)

plus since its only like on weekends and stuff. the probability that i'd fuck them up is so very slim. and i totally suit the position of the "fun aunt". babies kinda remind my of cake. the buttocks especially. hmm.

my y.sis wants children and ive convinced her to have 5 (at least im working on it) and im allowed to name 2. 1 boy and 1 girl. ah the joys of not being a parent...

weather to fly

ELBOW!!!

mecury prize winner so don't be too skeptical about the name... HEH. don't they sound sexy?

remember the rough patch i was talking about? i've sandpapered it already. thanks to everyone who put up with my whining... its been settled so its clear skies:D :D yay! feel so free now... no more obligation for decent conversation (the worse kind of obligation). mulled over it for too long... should've gotten it over with sooner. like ripping a bandage off... its strange, can be so tongue in cheek about most things, but when it came to this... i was so cowardly and such a pussy. tut tut.

note to self: depussify thyself and sharpen thy sword of frankness.

just caught a reflection of myself in my computer screen... eew. can't stand looking in the mirror these days. my hair. is. so. fucking. horrible. not that that's news, but lately its taken to curling up at the end so it looks like i was teleported out of a 1970s anti-racism campaign.

so...lets way the pros and cons of straightening my hair.

pro: it will be straight
con: risk looking like an anjadi (indian ah lian)
pro: it will be straight
con: it may make my face look fat.
pro: my face already looks fat so anything i do to it can only be an improvement
con: if it looks horrible, it will be permanent for 6 months or more
pro: wouldn't need 2 massive pins to clip my "fringe" aka. a puffball
con: when new hair grows i'll look like i have "hair cancer"
pro: it will be longer
con: it will look fake (because it is. duh)
pro: it will be straight
con: it won't match my... other hair

well that argument just won itself...

im off to do massive amounts of tution homework and filing then... urgh. i haven't filed since primary 4.