i gave viagra to my brother so that i can hump him

OMG I READ THIS AND I'M SO FASCINATED BITCHES! SO FUNNY YET SOOO FREAKIN' WEIRD ON SOOOOOOO MANY LEVELS!!!! BE PREPARED TO GO EEEEEEEW AND ROFLMAO! have a disco in your grave freud...

read equally funny comments here:
http://www.droppedthebomb.com/confession/Sleeping-with-my-Brother/3864

This is sneaky, but it had to be done.

My brother is 24, I'm 22 (F). I've been attracted to him for quite a while. Why? My guess is that he's always been there for me, and over the years my feelings simply became increasingly sexual.

I've dated other men before, and this scenario never fails to arise: My partner and I would be making out and suddenly I'd close my eyes and start to imagine it was my brother. Sometimes I'd get so aroused that I became physically aggressive (scratching, biting, even slapping). One of my partners actually had to stop me after I shoved him down and slapped him straight across the face (You should have seen the look he had after shouting "What's wrong! What happened!"). I know it all sounds funny, but I guess it shows how desperately I wanted him.

Anyways, my mother is a doctor, and one day, while at her office, I came across a whole carton of sample Viagra and decided to take some with me. I had no idea why I took it, but after deciding I was seriously overdue with my brother, I realized it could be used to my advantage...

**Note: I probably never would have attempted this, but throughout the years I've seen the way my brother looks at me, and I became increasingly convinced he'd go along if I initiated something.

A couple days later, while my brother was getting ready to call it a night, I crushed the Viagra, stirred it into some already gritty Nesquik (chocolate milk), and told him I "Didn't feel like drinking the rest". He drank most of it, and I waited about twenty minutes for his penis to respond. While he laid in bed, I eased the door open and explained that I had watched a scary movie the previous night, and that there was "Absolutely no way I'd be sleeping alone."

Considering the way he paused before he said "fine", and the fact that he shuffled over and turned towards the wall, I could tell the drug was working. I nearly jumped on him, and put my arm around his stomach. He shoved it away and started acting all grumpy, mumbling stuff like "Cut it out," and "Just go to sleep already, I'm really tired." (I tried not to laugh, but at the same time I was pretty nervous (and EXTREMELY horny, haha)).

Before reaching straight for his package I jokingly said "You just can't get enough of me, you're probably rock hard right now," (I was SO right). I got a good feel of it before he turned on his stomach, paused, and said "That wasn't what you thought it was."

I played along, and was just like "Oh...my...God..." and started laughing while i laid on top of him. I'm not sure why, but I asked him if he thought I was attractive. Of course he said "Yeah, sure," (Actually his face was in a pillow, so it was more like "yeh sr", hahaha). I also confronted him about his periodic "love gazes," and, to my surpirse, started kissing his neck (If you wouldn't have known you'd have thought I was the one on Viagra)!

Contrary to what I thought I'd be like (considering my previous instances), things were pretty gentle. I told him I loved him more than anything, and eventually ended up taming the beast he had in his shorts. We've been pleasuring each other since then, and I'm sure it'll stay that way for a while.

I eventually told him what I did that night. He couldn't believe I'd do something like that, but admits it was an overall good thing. Although what happened is no longer a secret between us, we haven't told anyone our business yet, so I figured I'd post it here, and get some feedback.

I know it's probably wrong, but unless we both end up in serious relationships, my brother and I will always be "More than friends".

when you were young

god i just love listening to some artists playing in live lounge! they're so eargasmically unique...

these are the noisettes doing a cover of the killers song, when you were young. personally don't like the killers but they're song writing skills and lyrical competence just comes shining through in this cover (ironically when someone else is doing it). listen to it please, its so genuinely lovely.

check out the noisettes. brilliant!

in other news, apparently miss singapore universe 2009 can't speak english properly even with 10 years of compulsory education. they're making a pretty big deal out of this, for reasons nobody actually gives two turds about. i thought i might still comment.

a) firstly, should we really be that shocked and mortified? lets look in on the education system. we only have to actually speak good english twice a year during oral. and even then, most of us fake it by putting on accents that don't belong to us. also, the education system's so hard up for teachers, they just about qualify anybody that owns a pencil skirt.

b) we're not going to make it past the first round anyway (just look at her, its like the concept of natural selection just overlooked singaporeans.), why do we care? we don't even need the representation. one day we're wee little fishing pond, and then WHAM! we're twice as big using your sand. our currency's thrice as strong because we're selling your goods. we've achieved political stability in less time than it takes clinton to zip up his fly using your communist ways! clearly, we don't NEED any representation in donald trump's little project to increase his number of sexual conquests before he dies. let's face it, our whole economy's strategy's based on "we're gonna get you when you least expect it". who cares if some little tramp misrepresents us? if you think china's scary, clearly you haven't been paying attention... pardon the patriotism, but its all so trivial and silly.

c) i can solve all of this in 2 seconds by sending my resident PRC scholar over to south africa to be her translator. all she has to do is put a lid on it.

bottomline, let's save that empty space in the newpapers for actual news. can't find any? more foxtrot i say.

cheerio.

inglourious basterds

YABADABADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

had chem mcq today. last prelim paper. one hour. no time. want to kill myself for mixing up silicon and sulphur dioxide!! went to have breakfast with allan after. his treat, kinda paying back sandwhich bar brunch. bled him dry heh heh heh.

showered and went to watch inglourious basterds with the milkster at around one. she's the bestest company (after you, you and of course you whose reading this). the movie was lovely, very satisfying. although i don't think it quite deserved M18 rating, the blood and gore was tastefully done and sent me into riots. very funny, might watch again given some time.

oh and i saw a trailer for this thai(?) film and i must watch it! sent me reeling in fear... woohoo. horror films confirm my existence.

went to ion orchard for the first time. PRETTY. though i don't quite like the crowd... especially in the evening. i prefer the crowd of vivo or taka, not sure why.

read a book. haven't read any fiction since i was 15 (my jeffrey archer eras. when i finished all his books, i felt a wee empty inside... like there was nothing left to look forward to in life.) that's not to say i haven't read any books, just been reading non-fiction. was pretty excited to finish american gods (part of the collection left behind by o.sis) on the train today. awesome book - although im a little late to the rave party. i might read it again but skip the parts that made sad and weepy.

liked these 2 paragraphs the mostest out of the book:

We do not always remember the things that do no credit to us. We justify them, cover them in bright lies or with the thick dust of forgetfulness. All of the things that Shadow had done in his life of which he was not proud, all the things he wished he had done otherwise or left undone, came at him then in a swirling storm of guilt and regret and shame, and he had nowhere to hide from them. He was as naked and as open as a corpse on a table, and dark Anubis the jackal god was his prosector and his prosecutor and his persecutor.

AND this one...

People believe, thought Shadow. It's what people do. They believe, and then they do not take responsibility for their beliefs; they conjure things, and do not trust the conjuration. People populate the darkness; with ghost, with gods, with electrons, with tales. People imagine, and people believe; and it is that rock solid belief, that makes things happen.

i wanted to put them here so i don't have to keep going back to the book to read them. they're insightful and telling, i find. i know! maybe i'll memorise them and quote them back to people to sound deep, profound and other-worldly. i say you should too... its knowledge that can only come from years of meditation, deep brething and yoga at your finger tips! well worth it, i say. heh:)

so it'll be back to studying tomorrow. toodles bitches!

so sister...

hello there.

had a chem paper this morning that went surprisingly not bad. hoping for a D. aaah, if only... oh yeah, i need a econs tutor badly coz i suck at it and think that econs is all over-generalised bull. if you know someone or are one, email me.

i was so tired this morning before the paper that i had to take a shower without the lights on because my eyes felt like golf balls pressing against my brain. i couldn't sleep last night because i spent the better part of it re-living every past embarrassing moment in my life. ever have one of those episodes? just on the cusp of nodding off... this little portion of your brain that you keep tucked away, buried under a mound happy and safe memories suddenly jabs you with fresh remembrance (and searing hot embarrassment)?

and so i tossed and turned, burying my head in the pillow, yelling into it, forcing myself to think of something else chemistry-related (but then the more i tried the more i remembered of course). physically contorting myself, kicking of the blanket and then suddenly feeling completely naked... what must people have thought of that awkward version of me?? urgh... fresh waves of repulsion and hatred for myself. gross. eeew. yuck. even now I'm making a face...

ARGH! how did anyone ever love me in my prepubescent awkwardness?? from moral reproach to teenage angst to pettiness to adolescent crushes. will the list never end? lying there having flashbacks of incidents that must have subconsciously defined me somehow is painful, horrifying and totally tormenting. it's like all my past crap manifested itself in a horrible twisted scaly monster of a being, prodding me with a gnarly grotesque fingernail every time i try to forget.

"oi oi. remember that time... oh you know... that time you made a birthday card out of paper and colour pencils. and then even had the cheek to give it to boy B? yeah you know boy B... no don't act like you forgot... yeah, that one. the one that never made fun of you for being a prefect and even let you copy his homework? remember what that supposedly sweet boy did to your card? remember? remember? he used it as rough paper for math! HAHA! he might as well have thrown it in the bin, which is where it should have been in the first place! aaaah don't think I'll let you forget.... nope never ever ever, not in a million years. not even when you're on your deathbed. not even when you're lathering yourself with soap in the shower. nope, not now not EVER! muahahahahahahaha ahahahaha"

"ooooh and what about that time... when your mother forced you to cut your hair so short you could see your scalp? oh of course you remember, you cried because you looked like a boy! even the canteen drinks stall aunty called you 'ah boy'."

i protest at this point. 'it's too much' i say... 'no more, no more' i yell... 'leave me alone!' i cry...

"oh but nandhini, that was just the beginning of the story! pray let me tell! you forget about the part where you came home to an empty house..."

NOOOOOOOO! STOP! i hate you i hate you i hate you!

"and you snuck into your sister's room"

lalalalalalalalalalala i don't want to hear! lalalalalalalalala

"and took her pom poms made out of pink raffia string for her school project. oh you remember what you did with them didn't you? it was the silliest thing!"

at this point i'm too tired to protest. its too late... the memory and embarrassment sets in.

"you stuck them under your hairband and pretended it was hair! HAHAHAHAHA! you looked like a total idiot prancing about the house stroking the coarse raffia, tucking them behind your ear in a bid to look like a girl! AAHAHAHAHAHAHA! remember? remember? oh and your maid and mum came home to catch you in the act?? remember nandhini? remember? AHAHAHAHA! oh you fooooool!"

"or how about the time the boys in your class told you spermatozoa was the scientific name for tadpole? and then they asked you in front of everyone in class if you'd eat some if they gave it to you. and you just had to go and say yes because, oh yes! you just had to act cool. you just had to action bedeh! you just had to impress them and prove yourself to be their equal... AHAHAHAHAHA! you're pathetic! you're a loser! you're a totally pussified lumbering sad excuse for a human being!"

and i resign myself to it. 'i know', i say. 'but i'm different now... i don't care what other people think about me anymore!' i protest again.

"oh is that riiiiiight?? are you sure.....?"

'yes, im a changed person! i'm not like that anymore!'

"oh then how about just last week when you were secretly reading the breast enlargement advertisement... just after reading the slimming centre advertisement next to it? 15kg in two weeks. don't lie, i remember what you were thinking, nandhini! you were impressed and wanted to try it~~ remember? and then your dad walked past... tell me dear girl (the monster's suddenly from ireland, a little imagination here please), what did you do? what did you dooooo?? let's hear it..."

'i turned the page to the comics section so that he wouldn't know what i was looking at...' i say, embarrassed at how filthy i was, like i sold my soul.

"you can't hide from me you filthy fake. you can try but nope. i'm in your head. i'm everything you hate about yourself! EVERYTHING! you can't run bitch! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

emotinal trauma...aaah... so you see why i couldn't fall asleep. that little space in my brain where i keep that sonofabitch monster decided at that precise moment to unlock itself and remind me exactly how pathetic and sorry i should be to have been born. i even have a name for that cruel tormenting monster in my head. his name is gary.

gary is like a sibling to me. he's my evil twin... he was born innocent and lovely and sweet with me; he played with my umbilical cord with me; he fell asleep in my mother's lap with me; he had asthma like me; we even tortured my sister together; he liked everything i liked and hated everything i despised. gary and i shared every experience and aspect of my life. difference is that while i deflect, gary absorbs all things putrid, pessimistic and unpleasant about life so that i don't have to. as a result, gary happens to be the part of me which sees the ugly in everything, including myself.

he's the one that thinks about murdering my sister with a machete, pull a machine gun on the old farts that take fucking long to finish morning assembly and even administer a neck dislocation to that little bitch who cut my queue last week to buy 1 tube of mentos (the freshmaker). gary's the one who thinks he can do kungfu, and that he has a collection of knives, shurikens and every sort of missile on the planet that even hitler's reincarnate would be spoilt for choice. gary's a narcissistic little bugger that dictates my self-confidence and my insecurities. he's the source of my hatred for all things fluffy, pink and happy.

gary, like any other annoying entity in my brain, is, in a nutshell, a neurotic psychotic bastard who keeps me alive only for food and water. i could do very well without that dysfunctional, semi-alcoholic, semi-suicidal, atheistic gary in my brain, but what fun would i be eh?

maybe next time i'll tell you about daffodil, she's a sarcastic, Harley-riding, nasty bitch who dreams of dying in a skydiving accident.