hello one and all
i have just came head to head with the most ironic of situations. we received our math results yesterday and chem results today. my chem got a whiff of the fermenting piss that my math left behind. alas, the subject i studied most for is the one to get an U. i wonder what will happen if this becomes a pattern...hmm...my math has no doubt(my tuition fees are being paid for in sterling pounds) been upgraded to a sub-pass (that's the grade they invented for those could have passed if they weren't missing their other half of their brains during the test). i can't really see myself feeling any particular joy for the upgrade as the average will still be an U, but the improvement made has been duly noted. i have given up on lit. what i once considered a shoe in, may not be so after all. i have always considered my ever so pessimistic mind a gift for the art of lit, after all most poets suffered enough trauma to kill themselves or became life's "little porn star bitch" to exploit. it was probably how they got into spending their sunday mornings in a closet writing poems about what an insane plonker life is. alas, not all poems are written as an alternative to killing themselves, ive discovered. that discovery came too late, after common test. well excuse me for taking the poem they tested us with so draftily. the poem was about how a mother loved her child so much so that she couldn't believe it was her spawn. i interpreted it as: she so wants to fucking eat her child. 'let's write that down, genius.' honestly what was i thinking. that basically sums up the fact that im screwed.
for those of you who want to know what a "wanker" is (i know my creative and colourful language isn't always understood): its actually someone who delivers a hand job, i mean that in fully sexual context. use it wisely folks.
today i was reading the june issue of the prospect and here's today's fun fact: clinton "tighs of steel" figurines and other clinton goods are going at half price. here's a perfect example of how economics and politics overlap. whoopfuckidydee. the article also made me speculate that clinton female supporters may not vote after all, and that obama has a weaker chance of winning against mccain that clinton did. well well well, sodding americans have done it once again. they just come with the built in knowledge on how to turn everything into tabloid trash. if they used their god given pea sized brain fully, they would know that they should vote based on what they want their country to stand for and which policies they want carried though. bloody cock suckers should vote for whom the country will benefit from most. rather they shame their country by voting for who has a black dick, who has a white dick or who added a snatch to the mix.
DO NOT READ ON. contains material unsuitable for Christians, children under 16, big babies over 16 and my parents.
that said, its time for some feminism. while im not a hard core feminist, i wouldn't pass up an opportunity to take a jab at the male population. today while analysing the play, Othello, i was reminded what my stand for feminism was: as long as there are egoistical sexist male chauvinistic pigs around, there would forever be a need for ball crunching feminist women. misogynist men will constantly require their feminist females to restore the intended balance and equality of democracy and all that liberty bullshit we adopted from our western counterparts. my stand on this is quite simple and direct. equality for everyone (except me. because im god. obviously). however, there are some things that part of me will always view the male population with some disdain and contempt. just try and pry me of this high horse. come on, i dare you...
1) the penis. its gross and ugly (don't ask me how i know, i just do). the years of evolution has done absolutely nothing for the aesthetic aspects of the male genitalia. i finally see the reason why premarital sex is not encouraged. you want to frighten the poor girl on her wedding night with the monstrosity that is the dick. its grotesque colour and other physical attributes such as the texture are hardly drool-worthy. evident thick veins run through the muscular tube. its hardly something men should flaunt or have, even for reproductive purposes. no woman should ever have to be subjected to something so putrid inside her. its enough to partially disorient anyone. and then there's the foreskin. its actually very unhygienic to have it. it should be cut at an early age for it harnesses bacteria and other viruses. this is called circumcision and is practiced by muslims and jews. for once, they've got the right idea. with so many evident flaws how is one to successfully enjoys certain aspects of a relationship at all? how is a man to be ever respected? here's a discomforting thought: your dad, brother, uncle and local transvestite all have one, effective ones. the existence of a penis just disinherits all respect ive forced myself to build up after those painful primary school years. they all have one and in the comfort of their rooms, they use it to masturbate. that's right, they play with their plonkers. they fiddle with their fiddle. their magic wa...alright alright, you get the idea. we all do it. its just much much more gross when they do.
2) if you have a retard for a child, blame it on daddy. no seriously, its his fault. go right ahead and put the blame on him and enjoy a guiltless cup of tea. a quick (okay, not so quick) lesson in biology would reveal that its the mutated sperm that causes spastic children. not the mummy fault at all. the egg has one perfectly good X chromosome and just waits to be fertilised. its the male sperm that carries an empty gene or a mutated one and betrays its eagerly waiting chromosome counterpart. HAH. the sex of you child is also determined by the sperm. HAH. no longer can the female be blamed for EVERYTHING that goes wrong with the spawn. well, genetically at least. the x-chromosome is the single most important gene for life. life cannot even begin without it. you can still have a mentally stunted daughter(well really just a piece of walking meat type of thing, XO type cell forms instead) without the y-chromosome. for some strange reason i feel like jumping up and down on my bed and yelling "neh neh, neh neh, poo poo" in an annoyingly sing songy voice. i suppose deep (deep) down, we know the equality thing is an absolute farce. really. woman were (and are) meant to rule the world if not for the fact that we're sad, sappy and emotional fucking morons who bleed out of our genitals. now now women, i don't totally have such a negative view of us. come now, we're all somewhat demi-gods. being life-givers and all really elevates us to a near divine status, you know. no worries, just a minor setback... in conclusion, its really almost always the one with dangling genitals' fault.
3) ever heard the phrase "men are better at everything"? i completely agree. men ARE better at everything. from spacial reasoning to the art of cooking, men have topped all the fields. even the areas witch woman supposedly reign supreme are no doubt dominated mercilessly by men. men have won more nobel prizes than women, men are better cooks, men make better engineers, men even make better hairstylists. that's all true. but i would like to grant the credit for their most exemplary and not to mention evident superiorities to women. for you see, researchers have finally made a breakthrough discovery. 300 estimated million years ago the y-chromosome finally took its place amongst the elements of reproduction. how was the y-chromosome suddenly formed, you ask? alas, the y-chromosome is a mutated gene of the x-chromosome. hence, it is half in size as the base of the x-chromosome flattened out due to reasons such and genetic mutation. the odd but rapidly spread mutated x-chromosome is what was later identified and named as the y-chromosome. for you see, even the y-chromosome that leads to a male's superior attributes eventually came from women. the catch is that the gene is an imperfect and mutated form of its female counterpart. well guys, overcome by the sudden urge to take a shower? you're all a MUTATIONS of FEMALES. MUAHAHAHA. for those adamant to see reason and are against theories of evolution and continue to believe in god, adam and eve: lick my candy arse. i still stand by the theory that man is a mutation of women. the june issue of 'biology insights' makes an ever so compelling argument (proof that im not just yapping gibberish). for those who don't wish to see reason just yet, read it. so are men really better at everything? yes they so fucking are. in fact, men are even better at being women.
*of course i shan't rule out other possibilities. my argument is also based on the assumption that men are solely represented and defined as and by the y-chromosome that causes the production of testosterone and different brain development in them (there could very well be other undiscovered factors that i dare you to unearth); and vice versa for women.
with that, i conclude with equality for all (not really in the mood for a law suit). for one can no longer sustain life without the other. our only biological purpose of life shan't be fulfilled without the other sex. a symbiotic relationship on every level i say. even if the penis is gross and ugly and distorted and looking at it is like acid being sloshed at my pee hole, there are some undeniable pleasures derived from it. im sure that as many complaints as you men may have with women, you'd throw them straight out the 15th story window as long as you can get into bed with one. after all said and done, its only animal instinct that rules supreme over wankers and plonkers. we're governed by our respective crotches not our brains(however different evolution may cause them to be, underlying driving factors are still the same.)
"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."-Proverbs (ch. XVI, v. 32)
that said, no one's holding you at gun point to read my blog. now now, listen to the bible kiddies. one mustn't be begrudgingly angry and should take things with a pinch of salt. (i just looked up at my ceiling to see whether Zeus or God or some almighty Satan-like creature was going to smite me down with a lightning rod for abusing the bible to support my god forsaken blog in its disclaimer. heh heh heh. nothing happened. phew.) HAPPY 1st OF JULY.
i have just came head to head with the most ironic of situations. we received our math results yesterday and chem results today. my chem got a whiff of the fermenting piss that my math left behind. alas, the subject i studied most for is the one to get an U. i wonder what will happen if this becomes a pattern...hmm...my math has no doubt(my tuition fees are being paid for in sterling pounds) been upgraded to a sub-pass (that's the grade they invented for those could have passed if they weren't missing their other half of their brains during the test). i can't really see myself feeling any particular joy for the upgrade as the average will still be an U, but the improvement made has been duly noted. i have given up on lit. what i once considered a shoe in, may not be so after all. i have always considered my ever so pessimistic mind a gift for the art of lit, after all most poets suffered enough trauma to kill themselves or became life's "little porn star bitch" to exploit. it was probably how they got into spending their sunday mornings in a closet writing poems about what an insane plonker life is. alas, not all poems are written as an alternative to killing themselves, ive discovered. that discovery came too late, after common test. well excuse me for taking the poem they tested us with so draftily. the poem was about how a mother loved her child so much so that she couldn't believe it was her spawn. i interpreted it as: she so wants to fucking eat her child. 'let's write that down, genius.' honestly what was i thinking. that basically sums up the fact that im screwed.
for those of you who want to know what a "wanker" is (i know my creative and colourful language isn't always understood): its actually someone who delivers a hand job, i mean that in fully sexual context. use it wisely folks.
today i was reading the june issue of the prospect and here's today's fun fact: clinton "tighs of steel" figurines and other clinton goods are going at half price. here's a perfect example of how economics and politics overlap. whoopfuckidydee. the article also made me speculate that clinton female supporters may not vote after all, and that obama has a weaker chance of winning against mccain that clinton did. well well well, sodding americans have done it once again. they just come with the built in knowledge on how to turn everything into tabloid trash. if they used their god given pea sized brain fully, they would know that they should vote based on what they want their country to stand for and which policies they want carried though. bloody cock suckers should vote for whom the country will benefit from most. rather they shame their country by voting for who has a black dick, who has a white dick or who added a snatch to the mix.
DO NOT READ ON. contains material unsuitable for Christians, children under 16, big babies over 16 and my parents.
that said, its time for some feminism. while im not a hard core feminist, i wouldn't pass up an opportunity to take a jab at the male population. today while analysing the play, Othello, i was reminded what my stand for feminism was: as long as there are egoistical sexist male chauvinistic pigs around, there would forever be a need for ball crunching feminist women. misogynist men will constantly require their feminist females to restore the intended balance and equality of democracy and all that liberty bullshit we adopted from our western counterparts. my stand on this is quite simple and direct. equality for everyone (except me. because im god. obviously). however, there are some things that part of me will always view the male population with some disdain and contempt. just try and pry me of this high horse. come on, i dare you...
1) the penis. its gross and ugly (don't ask me how i know, i just do). the years of evolution has done absolutely nothing for the aesthetic aspects of the male genitalia. i finally see the reason why premarital sex is not encouraged. you want to frighten the poor girl on her wedding night with the monstrosity that is the dick. its grotesque colour and other physical attributes such as the texture are hardly drool-worthy. evident thick veins run through the muscular tube. its hardly something men should flaunt or have, even for reproductive purposes. no woman should ever have to be subjected to something so putrid inside her. its enough to partially disorient anyone. and then there's the foreskin. its actually very unhygienic to have it. it should be cut at an early age for it harnesses bacteria and other viruses. this is called circumcision and is practiced by muslims and jews. for once, they've got the right idea. with so many evident flaws how is one to successfully enjoys certain aspects of a relationship at all? how is a man to be ever respected? here's a discomforting thought: your dad, brother, uncle and local transvestite all have one, effective ones. the existence of a penis just disinherits all respect ive forced myself to build up after those painful primary school years. they all have one and in the comfort of their rooms, they use it to masturbate. that's right, they play with their plonkers. they fiddle with their fiddle. their magic wa...alright alright, you get the idea. we all do it. its just much much more gross when they do.
2) if you have a retard for a child, blame it on daddy. no seriously, its his fault. go right ahead and put the blame on him and enjoy a guiltless cup of tea. a quick (okay, not so quick) lesson in biology would reveal that its the mutated sperm that causes spastic children. not the mummy fault at all. the egg has one perfectly good X chromosome and just waits to be fertilised. its the male sperm that carries an empty gene or a mutated one and betrays its eagerly waiting chromosome counterpart. HAH. the sex of you child is also determined by the sperm. HAH. no longer can the female be blamed for EVERYTHING that goes wrong with the spawn. well, genetically at least. the x-chromosome is the single most important gene for life. life cannot even begin without it. you can still have a mentally stunted daughter(well really just a piece of walking meat type of thing, XO type cell forms instead) without the y-chromosome. for some strange reason i feel like jumping up and down on my bed and yelling "neh neh, neh neh, poo poo" in an annoyingly sing songy voice. i suppose deep (deep) down, we know the equality thing is an absolute farce. really. woman were (and are) meant to rule the world if not for the fact that we're sad, sappy and emotional fucking morons who bleed out of our genitals. now now women, i don't totally have such a negative view of us. come now, we're all somewhat demi-gods. being life-givers and all really elevates us to a near divine status, you know. no worries, just a minor setback... in conclusion, its really almost always the one with dangling genitals' fault.
3) ever heard the phrase "men are better at everything"? i completely agree. men ARE better at everything. from spacial reasoning to the art of cooking, men have topped all the fields. even the areas witch woman supposedly reign supreme are no doubt dominated mercilessly by men. men have won more nobel prizes than women, men are better cooks, men make better engineers, men even make better hairstylists. that's all true. but i would like to grant the credit for their most exemplary and not to mention evident superiorities to women. for you see, researchers have finally made a breakthrough discovery. 300 estimated million years ago the y-chromosome finally took its place amongst the elements of reproduction. how was the y-chromosome suddenly formed, you ask? alas, the y-chromosome is a mutated gene of the x-chromosome. hence, it is half in size as the base of the x-chromosome flattened out due to reasons such and genetic mutation. the odd but rapidly spread mutated x-chromosome is what was later identified and named as the y-chromosome. for you see, even the y-chromosome that leads to a male's superior attributes eventually came from women. the catch is that the gene is an imperfect and mutated form of its female counterpart. well guys, overcome by the sudden urge to take a shower? you're all a MUTATIONS of FEMALES. MUAHAHAHA. for those adamant to see reason and are against theories of evolution and continue to believe in god, adam and eve: lick my candy arse. i still stand by the theory that man is a mutation of women. the june issue of 'biology insights' makes an ever so compelling argument (proof that im not just yapping gibberish). for those who don't wish to see reason just yet, read it. so are men really better at everything? yes they so fucking are. in fact, men are even better at being women.
*of course i shan't rule out other possibilities. my argument is also based on the assumption that men are solely represented and defined as and by the y-chromosome that causes the production of testosterone and different brain development in them (there could very well be other undiscovered factors that i dare you to unearth); and vice versa for women.
with that, i conclude with equality for all (not really in the mood for a law suit). for one can no longer sustain life without the other. our only biological purpose of life shan't be fulfilled without the other sex. a symbiotic relationship on every level i say. even if the penis is gross and ugly and distorted and looking at it is like acid being sloshed at my pee hole, there are some undeniable pleasures derived from it. im sure that as many complaints as you men may have with women, you'd throw them straight out the 15th story window as long as you can get into bed with one. after all said and done, its only animal instinct that rules supreme over wankers and plonkers. we're governed by our respective crotches not our brains(however different evolution may cause them to be, underlying driving factors are still the same.)
"He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city."-Proverbs (ch. XVI, v. 32)
that said, no one's holding you at gun point to read my blog. now now, listen to the bible kiddies. one mustn't be begrudgingly angry and should take things with a pinch of salt. (i just looked up at my ceiling to see whether Zeus or God or some almighty Satan-like creature was going to smite me down with a lightning rod for abusing the bible to support my god forsaken blog in its disclaimer. heh heh heh. nothing happened. phew.) HAPPY 1st OF JULY.
