coke for the soul

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

strawberry swing

hi

the following passage contains random and verbal diarrhea that has spawned from many deliriously ecstatic feelings. i am not completely responsible for any emotive children's suicide caused from reading the cheery, joyful and merry recount of my very recent past.


i had nothing to blog about these few days. after youth day, it became a pretty slow week. like really really really slow. so slow that i need three reallies? yes, that slow. lots of homework (new and old) to do by friday. there's still 2 days left and procrastination rears its ugly head once again. heh heh heh. did i mention im incredibly happy? well i am. so happy that i'd be compelled to feel responsible for sending many suicidal children to an early grave? that's right. hallelujah! praise the lord! never thought you'd see the day, did you?

went to joo chiat road today for some photography thingy. it wasn't as hyped as it usually was mainly because everyone was knackered from school and were dying to go back home. towards the end i got hungry and cranky too.' got my dad to come pick me up. the other nerd herders hitched a ride to the bus stop. my dad said he'd come and 6 but he only came at 6.30 so we spent an an hour drifting around joo chiat road. we went into a pet shop and looked at puppies. i love puppies. puppies love me. babies...not so much. they were incredibly cute and attentive. then we just hung out by the road side like half arsed delinquents. not really committing crime, but not displaying respectable behaviour either. took more pictures to pass the time while waiting for my dad. i already had the pictures i wanted to send for the competition so i just mucked about.

hunger really doesn't help my disposition at all. i was cranky and got quite pissed at my dad for being so late. honestly, it took him ages. we waited some more in mr. bean and then he finally came in his yellow van, honked and pulled up at a car park. we clambered in. he was quiet, polite and not embarrassingly chippy at all. after we dropped the rest off, he turned the music up, increased his speed and took one hand of the steering wheel.

me: you had work late?
him: no, why?
me: waited so long...
him: came from jurong east. wait really long ah?

jurong east to joo chiat=really far. i really felt bad for having so many many negative hateful thoughts about his tardiness (yes, i have a conscience fat fucks). seemed a little petty since he came all the way to pick me up and give my friends a lift. plus he was concerned over the fact that i was waiting really long. yup. did he really know how to make me feel like a total bitch or what?

me: not really that long. needed to fill up forms and stuff anyway.

it is moments like this that make me realise that my parents have really brought me up with shocking irresponsibility. my parents suck at their biological job. honestly, i have so many manufactural flaws! im so pampered and i really almost always get what i want. i don't need to insist or work for any of my rewards. my dad just showers me with gifts and presents for no apparent reason (other than my awesomeness) at all. i have 2 sisters and i think i may very well be the most spoiled(or so im told by my mum). they're not rich. well if they were, im sure they aren't anymore.

here it comes. the blast of skittle coloured rainbow, unicorns, butterflies, fat bunnies and mating animals. the annoying happy part: im undesrvingly fortunate when it comes to getting stuff. and im not saying it because im being modest. on the contrary, im flaunting my new stuff. i hate myself (i don't really, not today at least). i need to bury myself and die (actually its quite clear im ecstatic, i shouldn't be such an obnoxious arsehole). im very aware of this fact, but annoyingly, i lack any resistance at all. i can't (well, really rather not) say no. i don't need it. i really didn't want it until you mentioned it. oooh im absolutely horrid!

exhibit A: 2 days ago, we were at the bike shop to fix a puncture on the bike. (i look at a sleek black bike that had a vague but distinct semblance to my motorola v3 phone)

me: ooooooh, this is nice(ssssss)....(i drag the words for emphasis)
dad: nice ah? you want it? aunty this one (points) how much ah?
me: ---------silence---------
aunty (maybe aunty to me, but surely not to my dad): $245
dad: you wait here ah... i draw money and come...
me:-----------waits----------

20 minutes later: ive got a brand new killer bike. we're going to test it out at the coastline on saturday afternoon.

exhibit B: today, in the car after dropping the kiddies off. we're chatting about the outing.

dad: so what did you do while waiting for me?
me: oh we went to the pet shop. well more like a dog shop. there were cute little puppies. i think the owner was breeding. there was a fat white one. and then a litter of 5. there were also two really fat(i clearly like obese, blubbery mammals) cute ones that were not as active as the rest. and then there was this another uber cute one that was a husky. and then there was this two siblings who were lying on top of each other while sleeping...(rambles on and on and on)
dad: i was thinking of getting a puppy for you and ****(that's my younger sister, suha's name)
me: -------silence--------
dad: what do you think?
me: yay! really...can ah? when? not tricking me right? why suddenly? yay! really...can ah?
dad: we can go to that shop after the renovations on the house are over. where is it?
me: along the road you fetched me from...(15 minutes later) so...when will the renovations be over?
dad: (chuckles)

i think im going to get a dog in 2 weeks. the following weekend after this coming one. just another story about a girl and her dog. aren't i really weak willed? i don't fucking care. i thought i should, but then i really don't. why should i? he was offering me a dog!!! i still feel a smidgen of guilt because i didn't even do well in the common tests. it was a train wreck, a disaster waiting to happen. i don't deserve ANY gifts. but hello hello: its a puppy!!! i really really really love dogs. ive wanted one ever since i watched my first air bud movie. im such a loser to get so excited over something so stupid. fuck cares. im getting a dog. neh neh neh neh poo poo. jealous allan? well, you should be.

seems a little late in my youth to get a dog an be so excited about it. if i was 12, i would put up pictures of all the puppies i would like to have. since im 17, ive grown a little more mature. here's a link instead (what... did you really think i was going to waste all that time looking for pictures and posting them up?): http://www.nextdaypets.com/directory/dogs/dog_picture/

3 cheers for random posts that make no sense, hip hip (hooray) hip hip (hooray) hip hip (hooray). this post is really stupid. blogging for the sake of blogging kind of post. pales in comparison to those painfully unhappy, cut my wrist, let's cry, let's die, my life sucks balls, the government is trying to take over the world posts. maybe my writing skills are only active when im depressingly suicidal? hmm maybe... on the bright side, it has more "daddykins conversations" you sentimental shitters seem to love blah blah blah...(the last three words were completely unnecessary but i was trying to show the fine line between those three words and the entire post. a very complicated chim way of saying im abusing the blog and its readers as an outlet for my gooey marshmallowy feelings. clearly its like im on crack when im happy. maybe that's why its a rare phenomenon. oh the joys. the flurry of warmth my cold and icy heart is in is almost indescribable. the only way to say it is: im a crackpot. its like im on crack crack crack weed crack marijuana crack pot pot pot pot pot crack weed weed weed ecstasy marijuana. woohoohoohooooo.

well cockers, i think we've all learned a VERY VALUABLE lesson today. something to take with you wherever you go in life. i mean it guys, it's super duper important. fundamentals really. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE GETTING PRESENTS FOR NO APPARENT REASON! GIVE ME STUFF FOR ME TO BE HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. its almost as good at cocaine, weed, snorting sugar, ecstacy or any other drug. have a bloody good rest of the week plonkers. wishing you all (fine, not ALL) well from my happy state. treasure it because you're not seeing it again in a long time.

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