i was in my room listening to a song about vibrators and masturbation and my dad just walks in (he doesn't fully understand the notion of knocking yet). i totally jumped la... i hit the mute button... he just starts talking about random ollie stuff. no facial expression.
not the first time. a few weeks ago i was on the phone talking about female genital mutilation and i was like in mid-sentence...
"noooo they really cut the inside part of the vag and...-"
BAM! door opens wide and he's standing there! i stare up at him in mid-sentence... *pause* "ok nan come eat" totally normal!! @#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()
1) he's blur as a button
2) he didn't hear both times (i was pretty excited...)
3) he's feigning ignorance
i really hope he thinks i said "veg" or let this be my suicide note... urgh! so embarrassing... *bites pillow*
please oh please let it be 1 or 2.
chapel talks
pastor: i'd like everyone to close their eyes and bow their heads now to pray *pray pray pray*
me: *wakes up. looks around*
pastor: those who would like the lord to be the source of fulfillment to your life please raise you right hand. please, nobody look up *annoyed*! raise your right hand.
me: starts mentally counting...
pastor: thank you (points) one there (points) thank you (points) up there (points) no one look up. close your eyes please *sounds eve more irritated*.
me: (thinks) 3 only. hahaha what a loser. laoyapok pastor. how you gonna get people to convert like that? tut tut. FAIL.
pastor: please open your eyes. thank you to those who raised your hands. im quite glad that so many of you have decided to accept him. i hope you all find the lord to be your *blah blah blah*
me: huh i thought only 3 were awake enough to lift their hands? aaaaah so that's why i was supposed to close my eyes... this trick's not gonna work on me buddy...
me: *wakes up. looks around*
pastor: those who would like the lord to be the source of fulfillment to your life please raise you right hand. please, nobody look up *annoyed*! raise your right hand.
me: starts mentally counting...
pastor: thank you (points) one there (points) thank you (points) up there (points) no one look up. close your eyes please *sounds eve more irritated*.
me: (thinks) 3 only. hahaha what a loser. laoyapok pastor. how you gonna get people to convert like that? tut tut. FAIL.
pastor: please open your eyes. thank you to those who raised your hands. im quite glad that so many of you have decided to accept him. i hope you all find the lord to be your *blah blah blah*
me: huh i thought only 3 were awake enough to lift their hands? aaaaah so that's why i was supposed to close my eyes... this trick's not gonna work on me buddy...
