sleep don't weep

whoozy.
throb throb throb.
brain throbs. throbs.
paces with my heart beat.
faster faster faster.
warm shower.
still throbs. nap...
and it throbs.
dream. sweet dream. bitter dream.
alarm nukes brain.
memory wiped clean.
dinner. indian festival.
sweet rice. sour rice. harbinger of throbs.
pills! popping pills! pop them pills!
pop. pop.
throb. pop.
pop. pop. pop.
vitamin c.
panadol.
sudafed.
time!
TIME!
literature homework.
do! do!
think! throb! can't think!
DO!
home remedies.
useless as homeopathy. and bush.
cyniscism. an omen.
thick sour saliva.
excretes in mouth. gushing from back teeth!
wave of sour saliva!
stomach clenches!
run! toilet! sink!
(must remove stopper. invisible post.)
sour slow dripping.
thick saliva. we meet again.
twice.
thrice.
and it comes. it comes...
oh how it comes!
it came.
wait.
stop. listen.
throb throb throb!
remember me? hello, dinner.
puddle of myself. mocking me!
silence. sobs. sniffles. gag.
breath. breath. breath.
condolences and concern. snap!
get out! i yell! i swear!
fingers white as sink.
no contrast.
bleeding lip.
blood peaking from a crack.
indentation.
creeping from a creek.
bleed lip bleed. mock me!
suck lip. sink teeth in, white impressions.
similarly. perfectly. aligned...
a reflection of myself. gag.
slide tongue over,
lip. lick.
scrape.
more blood gushes.
lick. swallow.
lump in my throat.
swallow.
friction... friction!
water! water!
water...
constituent of puke.
dad. peaks in.
school tomorrow. don't go.
kindness hurts...
self pity evelops.
nod. throb. lie on bed.
THROB! reminder.
miracle oil.
head and throat.
belly and chest.
axe away at the discomfort,
trusty axe oil.
fingers cold. exercise warms.
type fingers! type!
laptop balances on belly.
flat for once.
i mope. jello on bed.
disappear.
disappear into the familiar depression.
warm... weep... wipe...
MSA! leap! jump!
THROB!
no school tomorrow.
lie back.
lie. with her. on her.
LIT! must finish!
rice croons...
sleep, don't weep...
light on. must off.
bed depression and me, UHU glued...
groan... moan...
close eyes.
sexed up cats.
open.
must remember.
kill them with slipper.
close...
orange not black.
spots. sphychedelic pink orbs.
green flashes.
zip and zoom.
light! off! off!
note to self:
master art of mind-control...
half dazed. half dream.
peaceful darkness...
light off?!
YES!! mind control?!
at last!
alas...
only sweet suha.
selfless saviour.
ravaging guilt...
must apologise.
tomorrow...