chinese sleep chant

is it possible to love a camera more than all of mankind? well yes. it is my friends, it is.

and now im going to drag myself to blog about the best chinese new year ever. no pictures. yay for me. boo for you.

bearing in mind that i am not chinese and that i have little to compare this cny to, BEST CNY EVER!!!

lets start with friday. literally spent the whole day with allan. 15 hours. we met at 7.20am to buy tidbits for our camping out in the dark room. assembly. back to dark room. stopped by class. and them back to dark room. then the fun began. i swear i was high the whole day... no break. er allan and i danced for a while to 70s music on youtube and did a portion of a 20 minute workout video. and then rachel joined us after her duty and was stunned at the "state" the dark room was in. we tried to get her to dance as well. but to no avail, she was as stiff as a stick... tried to watch a movie. curse of the golden flower or some shit like that. and pet semetery. both attempts failed because it was boring and i couldn't sit still for more than 2 minutes (it was the tidbits i swear).

more photog people joined us. i would have pictures but i won't until they pass it to me. sat around for a bit trying to figure out whether or not to go for the celebration. allan and i didn't want to. it would be a total moodkill. but the rest did so we went and all of us sat together at the front row after dilly-dallying for a bit looking for seats at the back.

then after, mm decided to bail on us so my bubble was deflated by a good 2 inches. rachel, daryl, allan and i went for lunch at the hawker centre. got veg. fried rice and tofu to share with everyone. allan got dosai. after he finished, the poor guy was still hungry so i let him have the rest if my fried rice. shared daryl's drink. then we bid daryl and rachel a "see you later".

wanted to get conacts, decided to get them near my house. unfortunately we never got around to it. allan came over for a bit. ollie tried to hump him and bite him. say hello to my horny dog and his giant golden balls! he totally freaked. he met my sister and he said that she looked nothing like me. heehee made my day.

i took a shower and then we spent an hour cam whoring and watching a boring video on pete burns. laziness prevents me from uploading photos. kit called, she wanted to come over with jessie and yun. so allan and i went to meet them at the bus stop. but they weren't there. they got lost. found them after a mild panic attack. finally they came over and stayed for half an hour after drinks and cam whoring on my bed (which is very comfortable by their standards). again, pictures with kit. come over anytime guys... my house needs more fun people in it to entertain me.

then we realised we were super late to meet the others and rushed out of my house. took train to chinatown station and met up with the rest. lezzed it up with jessie for fun. totally spooked daryl and allan. new guy, jeffrey wants to join photography. and he's actually serious about it. guess he hasn't heard about our rep for slacking. previously from mentoring. quiet sort of fellow but we have MANY MANY other things in common. high hopes for the new generation... i think im tearing up a little. awwwww.

had dinner, talked. went to OG to "shop". i just felt up everything. so soft mah. daryl stood around dumbly and looked bored. totally needs a lesson on shopping from allan. i think i freaked out "jeffrey the new guy" a little. i was kinda high... okay very high. i slapped him (lightly!! to wake him up) coz he was looking a little tired and everyone looked mortified. gosh... allan paid me back duly since i bullied his buddy. then the remaining of us went to clark quay to walk around. walked around the bars and made a mental note of which ones to go with allan and which to go with the sister. and the bungy thing, also must try. 60 bucks to be flown into the air twice. dragging allan to that one as well. maybe mm too. beta would cry. so she's on the list as well.

after walking around, my slippers were worn out. finally we parted ways and went home. it was hella fun and i think i can't take credit for it even though i "organised". (basically just said lets meet at chinatown and walk around. heh. mot much of a planner)

sooooo next time im gonna rope allan into my novelty bar visitation scheme. less than a year to explore all the underground and novelty bars. heh heh. too few hours in a day and too few days in a year. i feel like time's running out and i need to make sure that the people who matter don't forget me.

geez. sounds like im dying or something.

on to saturday... basically a lazy day. watched all the new episodes from my favourie shows except bones... gotta find a decent website to watch is in. or download it... then dad, y.sister and i went to imm to get my atm card and open new bank account. don't ask why... the bank was bloody closed. so instead we hung around and had hokkaido ice cream. AGAIN... i just had some on friday by clark quay. seriously the becoming skinny plan is totally going down the drain. heh. it was worth it though... yum... rum and raisin. then we picked up dad's wife and went to mustafa centre. and the "everything is cheap" shop to get my card reader. it was packed with construction workers so you can guess the service is not top priority there. at mustafa, i got a bag for short trips. damn cheap. 30 bucks only. and then i got an 8 gig CF card and a camera bag for my baby... fantabulous. don't look down on mustafa centre ah, they have everything for very reasonable prices. i was very satisfied... hey who needs customer service when you've got everything in a multi-story mall?

went to have dinner at north indian cum chindian restarant near mustafa. couldn't finish my sprite because i was too filled up with good food. seriously, the only thing good about being indian is the food. my dad just complained through the whole meal. then dad took the chicken bone and wrapped it in tissue paper back for ollie. AAAAAAAh i was so embarrassed i was wanted to tip the rice dish over my head. drove back home. went to make my sister's specs coz she's now blinder than me which is really saying something... came home and got pissed at her because she refused to go to the beach in malaysia with the family. complain that she has alot of homwork but i know that she's going to spend the whole day on her computer watching anime. grr...

so since beach trip was so unjustly cancelled and i have nothing to do otherwise, im going to spend the night at tanya's house. my saviour and only indian friend (relatives don't count, if they did, i'd still be short.) offered to help her family(the anthonys) out with spring cleaning. awesome good time in store i think. plus more indian food. AND i get to take my new bag out for a test run.

supposed to have mahjong at jocelyn's house but no updates so i'll assume that its cancelled.

pictures and updates of anything interesting soon... i hope.

fool's gold

I BOUGHT IT I BOUGHT IT I BOUGHT IT

the best and only $1280 ive ever spent. 8 month old 2nd hand CANON 40D is mine!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! tell me you hate me:D no wait hate... hate the seller jessie khor for selling it to me after getting a goddamn Mark. or despise her father for getting it. she has 2 of those now!!! anytime you want to sell darling... right here...

school was okay. weird, confusing and mildly disturbing but okaaaay. nothing better to compare it to so whatever... had pe and as usual, i ache. still no muscle in sight though. dammit. i was hoping for wonder woman thighs... tomorrow will be torture: end at 6.30 after additional lit lecture. yes, pity me... pity me... oh wait don't... coz

I HAVE IT I HAVE IT I HAVE IT

sleep don't weep

whoozy.
throb throb throb.
brain throbs. throbs.
paces with my heart beat.
faster faster faster.
warm shower.
still throbs. nap...
and it throbs.
dream. sweet dream. bitter dream.
alarm nukes brain.
memory wiped clean.
dinner. indian festival.
sweet rice. sour rice. harbinger of throbs.
pills! popping pills! pop them pills!
pop. pop.
throb. pop.
pop. pop. pop.
vitamin c.
panadol.
sudafed.
time!
TIME!
literature homework.
do! do!
think! throb! can't think!
DO!
home remedies.
useless as homeopathy. and bush.
cyniscism. an omen.
thick sour saliva.
excretes in mouth. gushing from back teeth!
wave of sour saliva!
stomach clenches!
run! toilet! sink!
(must remove stopper. invisible post.)
sour slow dripping.
thick saliva. we meet again.
twice.
thrice.
and it comes. it comes...
oh how it comes!
it came.
wait.
stop. listen.
throb throb throb!
remember me? hello, dinner.
puddle of myself. mocking me!
silence. sobs. sniffles. gag.
breath. breath. breath.
condolences and concern. snap!
get out! i yell! i swear!
fingers white as sink.
no contrast.
bleeding lip.
blood peaking from a crack.
indentation.
creeping from a creek.
bleed lip bleed. mock me!
suck lip. sink teeth in, white impressions.
similarly. perfectly. aligned...
a reflection of myself. gag.
slide tongue over,
lip. lick.
scrape.
more blood gushes.
lick. swallow.
lump in my throat.
swallow.
friction... friction!
water! water!
water...
constituent of puke.
dad. peaks in.
school tomorrow. don't go.
kindness hurts...
self pity evelops.
nod. throb. lie on bed.
THROB! reminder.
miracle oil.
head and throat.
belly and chest.
axe away at the discomfort,
trusty axe oil.
fingers cold. exercise warms.
type fingers! type!
laptop balances on belly.
flat for once.
i mope. jello on bed.
disappear.
disappear into the familiar depression.
warm... weep... wipe...
MSA! leap! jump!
THROB!
no school tomorrow.
lie back.
lie. with her. on her.
LIT! must finish!
rice croons...
sleep, don't weep...
light on. must off.
bed depression and me, UHU glued...
groan... moan...
close eyes.
sexed up cats.
open.
must remember.
kill them with slipper.
close...
orange not black.
spots. sphychedelic pink orbs.
green flashes.
zip and zoom.
light! off! off!
note to self:
master art of mind-control...
half dazed. half dream.
peaceful darkness...
light off?!
YES!! mind control?!
at last!
alas...
only sweet suha.
selfless saviour.
ravaging guilt...
must apologise.
tomorrow...

the battle of evermore

im completely willing to entertain the idea of a god. that's where the agnostic part comes in see. if there was a god...

i bet god was damn happy to create us. he gave us dinosaurs, a brain, rainbows, sunsets, puppies, rain etc. so many pretty pretty things. i can just picture a really flamboyant gay guy in his spandex, head band and smoking a weed pipe just going crazy with imagination. animals the size of peas and animals the size of trees. animals that could fly and animals that could swim. animals to eat and animals to shag. animals to raise and animals to shoot. and when he was done he gave us the ultimate survival kit: the earth.

it has so many many many cool things about it. everything about is so balanced. so round-ish. so colourful. it looks like a gumball and has other gumball neighbours for us to look at and spy on when we're bored with our own gumball. and god gave us cool mysteries to solve and little games to play and fiddle with. see he figures it'd give our brains something to do. is the earth round? or is it flat? it looks flat... but if it was, where does all that water go?

and once we've figured out the earth is, in fact round and that we orbit the sun (not the other way around)... the mystery doesn't end there. there are so many more questions and clues... well if it was round, why aren't we falling off? and tada! gravity! you know what? god's secretly a snobby genius. showing off all that superpower...

there's so many pretty awesome things going on... solar eclipses (coming to singapore 26th jan 2009), lunar eclipses, rain (fascinates me to no end), hurricanes, earthquakes, tonadoes, hot air rises-cold air sinks, north pole-south pole, the 4 seasons... so many many things that are so fucking ingenius that you want to TAKE OVER THE PLANET AND PROD IT LIKE YOU WOULD A FISHBALL WITH A CHOPSTICK. urgh its frustrating to die not knowing everything. i seriously want to become a giant so that that i can play and pick apart the earth to know its wondrous and fascinating secrets. maybe its like a ferrerro rocher. layer after layer. what is it about round things that you want to put it in your mouth??

if there was a god, i want him to take me on a tour on his magical sleigh pulled along by flying reindeers (whoops. that's father christmas.). god would be my tour guide, and he'd show me all the cool gizmos he came up with and explain them to me. i think it'd be even more fascinating if all he was now was one giant humungous brain sitting in a tub (henry sugar?) only cared for by a phychic caretaker who could read minds but was blind, deaf and mute so she can't tell anyone. and this huge brain needed to be bathed with a special solution so that its still fresh and alive. what if this special solution was rare and expensive?? i hope the phychic girl has cash! well if she lived in britain she could get welfare. or she gets insurance for her disabilities. hope her parents got her some eh?

OR if god was a SHE. even more splendid. we could have girl-talk and buzz ideas of each other. i'd talk to her about changing the aesthetic aspects of men's genitals and maybe get myself a new nose. or at least give my kids a better one... she'd totally understand where im coming from... actually its most plausible if god didn't have a gender. if he did, then he could just procreate and make an even more superior species than us. oooh maybe he has already. we were the test subjects see. and there's a utopia somewhere out there made with the perfected fomula, hidden away from us... a perfect place with no drought and famine. everybody would have perfect genetics and would look like movie stars. people would work because they liked it, not because they need money. they wouldn't need currency. god would have made them all so happy and perfect that they would all be the ideal communists. sharing caviar, blue cheese and wine. in that case... no fair. i wanna migrate.

who knows. maybe god died. *gasp* it has been billions of years. im sure if there was a god, he'd get bored sooner or later. maybe he didn't see the need to stick around. maybe he thought we're fine on our own and decided to OD on coke. who knows? after all he wouldn't have many friends. if he did, im sure as soon as he created earth, all his friends turned on him, no longer seeing him as their equal... but as GOD, as a leader rather than a friend. oooh oooh maybe WE were his friends but once he revealed to us that he made everything, WE turned against him too. maybe we killed him in disbelief. OR god felt lonely because no one would talk to him anymore. it became a political mindgame around him. maybe that's how war started, people fighting over who wants to be his best friend (paris hilton style). and he could no longer bear to live with us after feeling guilty for starting war. his girlfriend left him too (she didn't want to have superbabies). she eloped with the stables keeper leaving god devastated and lovelorn. he had no choice but to invent drugs and alcohol and drown his sorrows, and henceforth, all men's sorrows in them.

or it could be that god got intoxicated on power and began dictating everyone and cheating on his gf. he is a genius after all. in my experience, geniuses are usually SNAGs with girly voices or total dicks. maybe a dinosaur ate him. yeah... he created things he couldn't control and things sort of started to spiral out of his capabilities. he saw a dinosaur and decided he wanted to shag it... for... fun. and the dinosaur got mighty pissed and ate him and god was alright with it see. he's a cool guy. very laid back. he knew he made a mistake with all them dinos and so, just before he died he killed off all the dinosaurs and let evolution take its course... hmm... that one made the least sense. if he could kill of dinosaurs why let himself get eaten? clearly no thought went into this one.

aha! god could be a super nerd. with a super computer. a mac probably. he could be playing sims with us right now... or he did play, but invented a new game (battle star galactica) and forgot all about us. hence, all the poverty and famine. or would you rather believe he's a sick sadistic RACIST goth kid who goes around killing off dark skinned people because he's high on lemonade? in that case he's still pretty cool... everyone loves a psychopath. ecpecially me...

well well well... i think i just wrote my very own bible. well more like a rough draft. clearly in the real thing, there'll be some pretty cool sci-fi space battles going on. i'll make a movie! is god really who we think he is? or is he an intergalactic space spy in need of a headquarters? and will god find true love? coming to theatres 2009AD. it'll be the best. sci-fi star war-sy type thing for the boys, dejected SNAG in search of true love for girls, maybe throw in a homsexual twist ending for the gays. sure to do well one. if not in theatres, in DVD sales. muslims and christians will buy one to burn at every holiday. in fact! it could be a uniting factor for them!!! think about it, won't the UN get mighty pissed if the reason christians and muslims unite is my lameass movie and me?? it'll have a cult following too. im sure of it. be prepared ah, guys...

to conclude... if god existed, he/she wouldn't have time to write autobigraphies. especially ones that left out all those ingenius things he did coz showing of his pretty new toy would be the first thing he'd do. holy texts are speculations (just like my bible-cum-post) and have little truth to them. they're more like a collection of bedtime stories for children. along the way, there are some pretty awesome advice on how live a guilt-free life. however, there has yet to be one that explains everything comprehensively. even science textbooks don't claim to tell you everything (that's the great thing about science. it isn't just one lunatic spewing crazy theories, its many... so you can choose whichever ones are the coolest and sounds the most plausible. it never assumes we need to know everything or that it knows everything).

so don't shut out reality just because of what the bible or qu'ran or vedas says. when some guy with too much free time on his hands excavates evidence for the existance of dinosaurs, go with it. don't call it a test of faith (apparently fossils were planted by god to test religious faith. im not shitting you). call it your fellow man's thirst for knowledge and intelligence. call it an obsession for the truth. call it one of god's whims even... just don't block reality out of your brain. god's will is invisible and probably not there. gospel truth could possibly be undermining the dictionary definition of "truth". but evidence is there for you to see. so open your eyes big big and don't waste the brain that (disco pants wearing, weed smoking, hermaphrodite god invented for you) and/ or (you inherited from a babboon after years of hard evolutionary work).

storm

its good... very smart. tim minchin.

in limbo

it ain't music y'all... it bad booty rap... you dig it, home dawg?

jaydiohead? JAYDIOHEAD??!! really?! you've gotta be fucking kidding me... jay z+radiohead=washed up failed musician DJ who can't make decent music by himself so he slaps crap together in order to make the greens. GRRR!!! RAW!!! *RIPS SHIRT OF LIKE THE HULK* you've messed up big time buddy... i am pissed. i am VERY pissed. DJ minty fresh beats is going DOWN if he messes with my radiohead stuff.

EVERYONE'S a musician... sheesh...

seriously its horseshit. its loud and obnoxious. its lameass rap... need i say more? makes thom yorke seem like a tacky mismatched mysogynistic tasteless rapper from the broncs who also just happens to be an evangelical christ boot(sandal)licker.

gosh, i wonder what jay z(ed) and radiohead have to say about this. neither of them even know who the other is...

jay z: radio? i thought all y'all usin' ipods now?

thom yorke: jay z(ed)? who is the devil is he? oooooh i remember... he's that toddler from cbeebies named after 2 of the alphabets right? right....?

if you want to check this monstous birth out, here's the link:
http://jaydiohead.com/