holiday greetings to all and to all a holiday greeting.
the week was quite good. it was QUIET and peaceful and refreshing. mainly because my sister wasn't around. and now that she's back, i feel the need to crawl back into my hole and hold out til school starts again. sigh... spent christmas eve and christmas watching the muse dvd amoeba lent me. dearly appreciated, thank you love. aside from that, a few old friends called me up and we talked excessively through the night. i missed that. sigh...
i think im suffering from a mild case of bipolar disorder. i was so happy the past few days and now im suddenly falling into a sinking pit of disappointment and depression. like an animal sedated and resigned to its fate of being lunch. its a little disturbing the way i can spiral from happy delirium to sinking depression with no absolute cause at all. maybe there is one, but i can't see it. or maybe its because once you've felt happy, there's nothing else to feel but dissappointment. well, what can i say? that'll teach me to feel happy.
depression + boredom is a bit like mixing drinks, you start doing and thinking craxy things... sigh.......
here's a list of what i'd like to accomplish in the coming year. sort of like a new year's resolution, only im not going to call it that because...well because its lame. i really don't ask for much:
1. A levels: ABB/AAB/AAA would be nice
2. concentrate on studying for A levels. actually do my tutorials instead of copying them off friend/not doing them at all. there's a stack of work from last year untouched and will probably continue being virgins until i use them to wipe up my air con's pee.
3. be fitter (not necessarily lighter though it would be nice): run 2.4km under 15 minutes. also im going to totally own that demonic standing broad jump mat that seems to have it in for me
4. have a crush on a guy and/or many guys. not asking for much there... 4 years of attending a girls' school. tut tut.
5. be nicer to my schoolmates: this would entail NOT a) ragging on them (so much), b) picturing myself gunning each and every one of them down under the brains pop and the juice sprays out of their ears, c) bitching about how plasticky and deluded about the world they are and d) disassociating myself from school events. if all goes well, i may make an effort to be friends with some and actually smile at them.
6. be nicer to ALL classmates: this would entail a) less bitching, b) more smiling, c) participating in "class" events and gathering, d) being involved urgh... can't wait... and e) less ipod
7. get subscription to the prospect, renew subsciptiong to broader perspective.
8. read news from bbc website everyday instead of 2/3 times a week. expand knowledge on important world issues (so that i can act like i give a shit): theology, scientific advancements, psychology, philosophy, politics, society etc. oh and i have to brush up on my economics knowledge which is currently at zilch.
9. make leaps and bounds of improvements on chem and econs
10. never get an U or an S
11. make new friends, get in touch with old friends, become better friends with current friends (i know, sounds like im five)
12. save enough money to finally get that SLR. strangely enough, it seems to be more and more unattainable.
13. go on a proper holiday. one that involves a plane ride and air plane food and mini godiva chocolates and cheap wine.
14. go clubbing. visit novelty bars and pubs.
15. find yummy food and desserts with beta and mm.
16. remember friends' birthdays. hey this isn't easy for me...
17. improve interpersonal skills aka. not take the piss out of everyone.
18. be civil to my mum. be family-oriented. not be antagonistic to y.sister thereby improving our relationship. maintain relationship with o.sister.
19. buy new comfotable clothes. shoes.
20. be more sociable and less of a anti-social mopey nerd.
21. less cynicism, less sarcasm, less radicalism. though ive never been dogmatic, i do need to be more pragmatic.
22. find hairstyle that suits me. heh.
23. find new bands to listen to. i have some in mind. hone appreciation towards jazz.
24. don't pontang school so often. more inmportantly, drag yourself down to school even on half days pertaining to major holidays.
25. do not be racist. even to construction workers, oily indians, orientals. ecpecially to orientals. oh you know how they get.
26. do not express atheist views (on a regular basis). do not rag on religion.
27. do not harbour hopes of taking over the world.
28. think of university courses suitable for lazy people who want to make big bucks.
29. learn driving. pass manual driving test on first try.
30. do not say what i think without tact. be less frank and straightforward.
if i think of more, i'll add them. some of these things i would like done before june. honestly, if i manage to get all these things done, i'll be soooooooo tired and bored with myself. and not to mention, plain.
the week was quite good. it was QUIET and peaceful and refreshing. mainly because my sister wasn't around. and now that she's back, i feel the need to crawl back into my hole and hold out til school starts again. sigh... spent christmas eve and christmas watching the muse dvd amoeba lent me. dearly appreciated, thank you love. aside from that, a few old friends called me up and we talked excessively through the night. i missed that. sigh...
i think im suffering from a mild case of bipolar disorder. i was so happy the past few days and now im suddenly falling into a sinking pit of disappointment and depression. like an animal sedated and resigned to its fate of being lunch. its a little disturbing the way i can spiral from happy delirium to sinking depression with no absolute cause at all. maybe there is one, but i can't see it. or maybe its because once you've felt happy, there's nothing else to feel but dissappointment. well, what can i say? that'll teach me to feel happy.
depression + boredom is a bit like mixing drinks, you start doing and thinking craxy things... sigh.......
here's a list of what i'd like to accomplish in the coming year. sort of like a new year's resolution, only im not going to call it that because...well because its lame. i really don't ask for much:
1. A levels: ABB/AAB/AAA would be nice
2. concentrate on studying for A levels. actually do my tutorials instead of copying them off friend/not doing them at all. there's a stack of work from last year untouched and will probably continue being virgins until i use them to wipe up my air con's pee.
3. be fitter (not necessarily lighter though it would be nice): run 2.4km under 15 minutes. also im going to totally own that demonic standing broad jump mat that seems to have it in for me
4. have a crush on a guy and/or many guys. not asking for much there... 4 years of attending a girls' school. tut tut.
5. be nicer to my schoolmates: this would entail NOT a) ragging on them (so much), b) picturing myself gunning each and every one of them down under the brains pop and the juice sprays out of their ears, c) bitching about how plasticky and deluded about the world they are and d) disassociating myself from school events. if all goes well, i may make an effort to be friends with some and actually smile at them.
6. be nicer to ALL classmates: this would entail a) less bitching, b) more smiling, c) participating in "class" events and gathering, d) being involved urgh... can't wait... and e) less ipod
7. get subscription to the prospect, renew subsciptiong to broader perspective.
8. read news from bbc website everyday instead of 2/3 times a week. expand knowledge on important world issues (so that i can act like i give a shit): theology, scientific advancements, psychology, philosophy, politics, society etc. oh and i have to brush up on my economics knowledge which is currently at zilch.
9. make leaps and bounds of improvements on chem and econs
10. never get an U or an S
11. make new friends, get in touch with old friends, become better friends with current friends (i know, sounds like im five)
12. save enough money to finally get that SLR. strangely enough, it seems to be more and more unattainable.
13. go on a proper holiday. one that involves a plane ride and air plane food and mini godiva chocolates and cheap wine.
14. go clubbing. visit novelty bars and pubs.
15. find yummy food and desserts with beta and mm.
16. remember friends' birthdays. hey this isn't easy for me...
17. improve interpersonal skills aka. not take the piss out of everyone.
18. be civil to my mum. be family-oriented. not be antagonistic to y.sister thereby improving our relationship. maintain relationship with o.sister.
19. buy new comfotable clothes. shoes.
20. be more sociable and less of a anti-social mopey nerd.
21. less cynicism, less sarcasm, less radicalism. though ive never been dogmatic, i do need to be more pragmatic.
22. find hairstyle that suits me. heh.
23. find new bands to listen to. i have some in mind. hone appreciation towards jazz.
24. don't pontang school so often. more inmportantly, drag yourself down to school even on half days pertaining to major holidays.
25. do not be racist. even to construction workers, oily indians, orientals. ecpecially to orientals. oh you know how they get.
26. do not express atheist views (on a regular basis). do not rag on religion.
27. do not harbour hopes of taking over the world.
28. think of university courses suitable for lazy people who want to make big bucks.
29. learn driving. pass manual driving test on first try.
30. do not say what i think without tact. be less frank and straightforward.
if i think of more, i'll add them. some of these things i would like done before june. honestly, if i manage to get all these things done, i'll be soooooooo tired and bored with myself. and not to mention, plain.
